This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Randomize
