areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
my poor anus
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
