Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
