Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
That's when you crack a 10am beer
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
