love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
