Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
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