now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
