yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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