I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
