i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
