Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
