Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
