what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
