Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
