I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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