I wish I could punch you in the face.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
This baby is an asshole
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
