I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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