shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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