Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
