If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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