We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
