butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
