I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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