screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
