just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
