sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
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