I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize