Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
