Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
