I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
