So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
