i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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