Don't you send me to vm
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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