there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
