Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Who died my cat blue again?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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