If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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