I molested 6 butterflies tonight
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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