i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
