Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Randomize
