Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
