You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize