this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i think i have two assholes
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
