my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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