the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
