i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
