I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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