I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I fill condoms, not promises.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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