I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize