Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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