My nipple is on Facebook.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Never underestimate the power of titties
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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