you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
