Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
