I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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