Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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