Ambien. No doubt about it.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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