And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
