big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
