he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
