love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
