No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
