maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
