I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
accomplished twins. life is a go
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
